Spring Awakening 2K5
Quotes Page
No essays this
time around, but there are a few extra bits. If you are a young DF, it may help
to take the Pete Jones Test. Also, for amusement,
Lawrence had a phone conversation with his girlfriend
during the camp. Plus, the pea fair had some rather… interesting signs.
If you have
anything to add or remove, or any other suggestions or new quotes, please send
me an e-mail on the
double.
Hannah: “I can’t do the washing-up!...
It gives me electric shocks!”
Hannah: [to Jeff] “I love you and
I’m not letting you go until you shave your beard off.”
Jeff: “Have you felt Lucie’s cheeks?
She has really tight cheeks.”
Jeff: “Rohan and Hertha are walking
here, apparently.”
Jessie: “Walking here? They’re not
walking here. They’re just having sex.”
Anna S: “Anna, Anna, stop pulling down
my bra! Anna… Anna, I like my bra!”
Hannah: “Anna can’t pull down my bra
very quickly. It’s a very difficult bra. It’s a scaffolding bra.”
Jeff: “Hannah, can they re-dimple your
face again? Like, poke it with a pen or something?”
Jeff: “So you’re 10% doctor?”
Jessie: “No…” [*pause*] “…wait.
Yes.”
Jeff: “So if there were, like, ten
things wrong with me, you could fix one of them?”
Anna S: [to Pat] “C’mon, Petey.
Er, sweetie.”
*brandishing Pat’s wallet*
Anna S: “I’m not a thief!”
Hannah: “Everybody keep talking louder!”
Pooka: “What, so you can shag behind
the curtains?”
Anna S: “Oh, they’ll be doing it all
day, don’t worry.”
Pat: “Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s
stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s
stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s
stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s
stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s
stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s
stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping! Jessie’s stripping!”
Martin: “That’s a marvellous hat. I’d be
proud to own that.”
Kwik Save.
LOADS of BETTER PRICES than Iceland.
Anna S: “Have you seen your face?”
Pat: “Yeah, beautiful, isn’t it?”
Pooka: “Protozoa!”
Jeff: “What’s that?”
Jessie: “It’s a really small thing.”
Pooka: “Like my penis.”
Anna S: “Isn’t the Da Vinci Code about
Jesus having a baby?”
Pat: “Yeah.”
Jessie: “Aw, you’ve told her the ending
now!”
Anna S: “I know Lucie didn’t give Dan
Ellis head. It’s okay…”
Jeff: “Lucie pulled Dan Ellis?”
Anna S: “No, she just gave him head.”
*While Pat and Anna S play with duct tape, Martin tries
to take a picture.*
Martin: “How does it work? Which button
do I press first?”
Jessie: “On!”
Martin: “So, Jessie, I was just
thinking. I lost.”
Jessie: “So did I!”
Hannah: “Bum Touch!”
Anna S: “Breast Touch!”
Jessie: “Rape!”
Jessie: “You just broke her glasses with
gaffer tape!”
Pooka: “There’s some gaffer tape you
can mend them with!”
Pat: “Jessie, where’s your shoe?”
Jessie: “On Hannah!”
Pooka: “What the hell’s going on behind
those curtains?”
Everyone: “They’re having sex!”
Anna: “Oh, I just lost the game.”
[Hatred begins to spread.]
Scots Adam: “I am going
to get so injured this week.”
Jessie: “What have I done with?… oh,
here’s my phone.”
Anna S: “I’m not having a baby. Yet. But
if I pop one out… *pop*… you’ll be the first to know.”
Jessie: “Lucie, don’t jump out of the
window! Lucie, fuck off! Fuck off, Lucie! Fuck off!”
*Anna S whips Pat with a tea-towel.*
Adam: Can you two keep your
sado-masochistic fetishes to yourselves?”
*Anna S whips Adam.*
*Various people tickle Anna S and she thrashes about.*
Scots Adam: “She looks
like she’s having an epileptic fit!”
Anna S: “Lucie, you’re crap at undoing
bras! There are three of them!”
Pooka: “Three bras?”
Adam: “Yeah. Anna needs a lot of
restraint.”
Anna S: “Anna’s getting stressed.”
Pat: “Anna’s always stressed. Let her
be stressed.”
Anna S: “She shouts at me when she’s
stressed.”
Pat: “Slap her then.”
Pat: “If you paint a Woodie logo on
my shirt, I’ll have a huge logo on my back.”
Scots Adam: “It’s a
woodie hoodie, then.”
Dolly: “Fuck.”
Scots Adam: “What did you
do?... Do you need to die?”
Pat: “Ooh! Can I kill her?”
Jessie: “Adam, I hate you.”
Adam: “I love you too, Jessie.”
Room Names:
Buxton, Matlock, Edale, Ilam, Bakewell, Castleton, Ashbourne, Butterton,
Longnor
Anna S: “I don’t wanna know about the
ins and outs of your sex life, Adam!”
Pat: “Well, it’s in, and then out,
and then in…”
Dolly: “Oh, humperdinks!”
Hertha: “What’s wrong with sex?”
*Rohan and Hertha disappear into Matlock.*
Various: “Are they having sex?”
Jessie: “Is Adam a lesbian?”
Adam: “Well, I do like girls.”
Anna S: “Please don’t get orgasmic,
Dolly. You know how much it turns me on when you have an orgasm.”
Jessie: “Rohan is always sex.”
Adam: “Rohan is sex.”
Rohan: “Everyone’s playing with my
nipples!”
Anna S: “Is Anna in here?”
Pooka: “Yes, you are.”
Sam: “I’m not going to speak for very
long…”
Pete: “I’ve heard that from you
before!”
[Hannah kisses
Hannah: “Please shave!”
[Hannah sees Pete’s face is covered in stubble.]
Hannah: “I’m not even gonna touch
you, Pete!”
Rohan: “Whenever you lose the game…”
Lawrence & Pooka: “Oh NO!!”
*Pete is holding a small, chunky, blue plastic radio.*
Owen: “What’s that? My First Radio?”
Pete: “If you aren’t on clan, I’m not
being nasty, but fuck off.”
Kitty: “Adam! Are you going outside for
a cigarette?”
Scots Adam: “No. I’m just
hanging out of the window for fun.”
Carly: “I can’t feel my heart.”
Pooka: “Well, there’s a boob in the
way.”
Kat: “Carly has proper boobs.”
Carly: “What, unlike those improper
boobs?”
Sam: “When we… *long pause* …
uh … reserved this place…”
Anna: “Booked?”
Sam: “Don’t smoke inside. In fact,
don’t smoke. It’s bad for you.”
Jeff: “What is Charlie from Busted’s
new band?”
Pete: “Shit!”
Hannah: “You’ve got kids?”
Pete: “Shhhh!”
Anna S:
“I’ve got three kids already!”
*playing with
segmented toy snake*
Pooka:
“Bored of this.”
*Pooka throws
the snake onto the floor.*
Jeff:
“Oi! Careful! That cost a pound!”
Jeff: “A
pound!”
Hannah: “I
went on a religious pilgrimage, but I’m
not religious.”
Joe: “Were
you the sacrifice, or…?”
Joe:
“Oh, that’s the fucking snake! Someone told me you’d found a real snake, and I
got excited!”
Saoirse:
“The radiator is off. Oh, no, wait, I’m wrong. It’s on 6.”
*Rohan shows
up wearing Hertha’s patterned pyjamas.*
*pause*
Rohan:
“Is there snow?”
Kabaddi!!
Sam:
“Did everyone sleep well last night?”
James:
“No.”
Pete:
“Where did you sleep last night, James?”
James: “
Ros:
“I’m a dildo.”
Amber:
“What’s that?”
Ros:
“It’s an adult toy.”
Amber:
“What do adults do with it?”
Ros:
“…play with it.”
Amber:
“What, like a game?”
Ros: “Yes!”
Amber:
“Is it like hide and seek?”
Saoirse:
“I’m sex, which is pretty much sex.”
Amber:
“What’s that lyric – ‘fucking like a train’?”
Dolly:
“It’s ‘funky like a train’.”
Eleanor:
“’Cuz trains are funky, right.”
Amber:
“Blatantly!!”
Pete:
“Penfold was blatantly gay.”
*massage
session*
Zoë:
“Adam, can I be next?”
Scots Adam:
“No. I’m next.”
*Rohan is
massaging Jessie. He reaches for her arms and squeezes one, looking confused.*
Rohan:
“…There’s nothing in there!”
Kitty:
“Which room’s the sex in? I want to have sex…”
Jessie: “I
sprained my thumb on Hannah’s face once. I don’t like her face.”
*Carly shows
up with her hand ‘bandaged’ with…*
Pooka:
“Ah, so you did end up using my white duct tape, yes?”
Lucie:
“Jessie?... Oh, you’re still at it.”
Anna S:
“Rohan, I’ve got something for you to suck!”
Carly:
“Let’s play a game!”
Adam:
“How about
Indeed! /
I say! / Here you are! / Thank you, sir! / No, thank you! /
I’m terribly sorry! / Cough! / God Bless Her Majesty!
Pooka: “Don’t look at the light!”
Adam: “I can’t help it! It’s so
beautiful!”
Alex: “I’m sober enough to play Mafia,
please let me pla… THERE’S A FLY IN THE ROOM…”
*Playing Mafia.*
Jessie: “I think it was anybody except
for me.”
Saoirse: “I think it was anybody except
for me.”
Jessie: “Okay, everyone except us.”
Kate Harte: “The Mafia,
yes?”
Adam: “Yes.”
Kate Harte: [points to
three sitting on a sofa] “They look pretty comfy.”
Adam: “The Sofa Mafia?”
Alex: “People are back from the pub.”
Pooka: “Nothing gets past you, does
it?”
Anna: “
Anna: “Nothing. I just like saying ‘
Anna S: “I’m a big fat gay!”
Pooka: “You’re not fat…”
Adam: “Anna Donne!”
Pooka: “I know.”
Adam: “I was just pointing her out to
you in case you’d forgotten who she is.”
Hannah: “I got a D in my Critical Thinking
essay.”
Joe: “How do you feel about that?”
Hannah: “…Crap.”
Hannah: “…because he wanked all day and
he wanked all night…”
Anna S: “I’m not gay and I don’t smell.”
Pooka: “”What do you use your nose for
if you don’t smell?”
Anna S: “Well, your face would look
really stupid without a nose!”
*Carly’s secret friend message reads: ‘Carly! HERE’S A
VEGAN treat for you!’*
Adam: “I thought this was: ‘Carly!
HERE’S A VEGAN’!”
*He holds up the sign next to
Carly:
“Yes, Kitty, you can borrow some of my clothes. At least six people are wearing
[my] clothes at the moment.”
Jessie: “I
think more than six people are wearing clothes at the moment…”
Edmund: “I
thought, ‘that’s a stubbly female’.
Hannah: “I
saw Rohan’s willy last night.”
Pooka:
“Where?”
[Hannah points
to Rohan’s crotch.]
Pooka: “Looks
like he’s raping Jessie.”
Carly:
“This is my dress for the wedding.”
*It’s pink.*
*Kitty squirts
Pete with a water pistol.*
Pete:
“You fucking bitches!”
Polly:
“Joner, on your Jod!”
*Lucie walks
in.*
Rohan:
“It’s a breast!”
Pooka &
Adam: “Sidestep left!” [many times]
LOST:
game, small animals, beer, phone (but I found it)
Jessie:
“It’s like summer! It’s sunny… it’s almost like spring has awoken.”
Saoirse:
“You could almost say: it’s like a ‘spring awakening’.”
*Playing Mao;
Jack puts down four ‘badgers’ and a nine of spades.*
Jack:
“That’s-the-badger-nine-of-spades-that’s-the-badger-that’s-the-badger-that’s-the-badger!”
Jeni Dixon: [to
Owen Polley] “You’ve gained a lot of weight!”
*About to hit
the ‘stuck’ door really hard.*
Dan:
“Now this is what I did kung-fu for.”
Kat: “All
this camp and we didn’t even bother to make friends with the sheep!”
Pooka: “I
think we got a little too close to the sheep at DF Kamp so that kind of makes
up for it.”
James:
“Rosie got way too close to a sheep last Spring Awakening.”
*General
murmur of agreement.*
Ros: “I
think I should put my shoes on.”
Rohan:
“Yes, especially as there’s glass on the floor.”
Ros:
“Why?”
Rohan:
“Picture frame burst. Spontaneously.”
Kat: [reading
from a problem page] “I’m a bit concerned about my husband’s left testicle.
It seems to have an extra little bit attached to it. Is this something we
should be worried about?”
Adam:
“No. It’s his penis.”
Pooka:
“You know how they say every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten?”
Adam &
Lawrence: “Yes.”
Pooka:
“Well, there’s KittenHate.com, there
you can log every wank you have.”
Adam:
“What happens when a kitten masturbates?”
[
[after
vacuuming]
Jessie: *gasp*
“Does anyone have a rainbow glove that they may have … lost?”
Adam: “7
down is avocado.”
Jessie: “I
like avocados. I want one.”
Pooka:
“I’ve never had one.”
Adam:
“You’ve never had an avocado?”
Kitty:
“Avocado? Is there an avocado?”
Adam:
“No, just in the crossword. The answer to 7 down is avocado.”
Amber:
“Avocado? Where?”
Adam:
“No, I don’t have any avocados!”
Amber:
“ADAM HAS A SACKLOAD OF AVOCADOS!”
[pause]
Adam:
“And they’re all mine!” *runs*
*Waiting at
Zoë:
“Laurie, you’ve turned blue!”
Other Laurie:
“Laurie Brown, Laurie Blue!”
Kitty:
“Oh! I didn’t use my double ended lollipop!”
Other Laurie:
“Better use it quick! He’s going!”
*Everyone
laughs.*
Amber:
“Good one, Laurie! Not that I understand why it’s funny, but it is…”
Title of page
in FHM: “THE GAME!”