DF Kamp 2K4
Quotes Page
This is a
selection of the best quotes from DF Kamp 2K4, in no particular order.
If you have
anything to add or remove, or any other suggestions or new quotes, please send
me an e-mail on the
double.
Pete: “WOODCRAFT?”
50 People: “FOLK!”
Pete: “Okay, I really wasn’t
expecting that…”
Anna: “You know when you get that
thing, that thing that sticks out…?”
Pooka: “A penis?”
Anna: “No… erm… cancer.”
Rosalie: “I WANT JUICE!”
Rosalie: “Squash will do.”
[Pooka wanders off.]
Rosalie: “I WANT SQUASH! NOW!”
[Pooka comes back, with squash for Rosalie.]
Rosalie: “But I haven’t got a cup!”
[Pooka hands Rosalie a cup.]
Rosalie: *pause*… “This is the best day of my life!”
Hannah: “I’ve got 22 so far!” …*pull*…
“23!” …*pull*… “24!”
…*pull*… “25!” …*pull*… etc… “38!”
Pete: “The woman that’s giving the
seminar! She’s here! Quick – hide the alcohol!”
Cassie: *tokes*… “That’s HARSH!”
[half an hour of AMAZING juggling tricks]
Dom: “…okay, and that’s all.”
[massive pause]
Dom: *with relish*... “…oh, wait! Reverse cascade… that’s one
of my favourites!”
Leader: “So, who wants to be the
zombie?”
[Adam jumps up and down, waving his hand.]
Dave: “There’s this game we used to
play a lot. I know it’s not very Woodcraftly but… WAR.”
[Adam lists lots and lots of games, including Ratchet
Screwdriver.]
Leader: “So these are all organised
games, in a sense?”
Jessie: “ORGANISED?!”
Leader: *to Dave*… “And where
would you play WAR?”
Adam: “On his own!”
Pooka: “Do you want any chocolate?”
Laura: “I love chocolate!”
[And she takes some chocolate.]
Pooka: “I didn’t want to know if you
liked it, I just asked if you wanted any.”
Jessie: “Why have you got ‘cheese’
written on your arm?”
Jeff: “Because Polly decided to write
‘cheese’ on my arm.”
Everyone: “Okay.”
[Dom shows up wearing a dress.]
Dom: “I had to improvise.”
CAUTION
Wide Toilet
Chute
Small children
must be supervised at all times
Rohan: “
Charlie: “Because he only left his computer four and a half months ago.”
Charlie: “He always looks pretty fly in
his own way.”
Jeff: “Yeah, but that way’s also the
‘looking a bit of a prat’ way.”
[Anna shows up with wet, semi-styled hair.]
Rosalie: *excited*… “Oooh! Is
there a shower?”
Anna: *pause*… “There’s a tap…”
[Rosalie falls over, landing on Anna.]
Anna: “Ouch!”
Jeff: “Now you know how I felt when
you jumped on my back.”
Anna: *sulky*… “Sorry… I did
give you a lollipop.”
Aidan: “Hello, Pooka, I’m Aidan.”
Pooka: “Yes, I recognise you from
DFWeb.”
Aidan: “What? Even though half my face
on that icon is in darkness? And my picture on DFWeb is stretched? And it’s a
crap picture? And it’s night so you can’t see me properly anyway?”
Pooka: “Yes.”
[everyone is waiting on the bus]
[Pete appears]
Somebody: “Hey, look, it’s Pete!”
[big cheer]
[Pete sticks up one finger]
[bigger cheer]
Rosalie: *carrying off some gaffer
tape*… “Great, I can use this for sex later.”
[Rat starts singing a song about Bestiality.]
Jeff: “You’re not Welsh, are you,
Rat?”
[7am, everyone is still half asleep]
Sheep: “Baa!”
[Pooka half-wakes up]
Sheep: “Baa! Baa!”
Pooka: “Baa?”
Sheep: “Baa?”
Rosalie: “OH YES! FUCK, THAT’S GOOD! THAT
FEELS GOOD! I COULD MAKE LOVE TO THIS SONG! LIKE THIS! OH YEAH!”
! # / bin /
usr / perl / - s
Hannah: “There’s a girl called
Taverner-Wood…”
Echo: “…there’s a girl called
Taverner-Wood…”
Hannah: “And she’d have sex with you if
she could…”
Echo: “…and she’d have sex with you if
she could…”
Various: “Haaah!” / “San!” / “Koh!” /
“No!” / Shiia!” / “Oonagie!”
Pooka: “Tchapokie!”
Rosalie: “I’ve got lube! Strawberry
flavoured!”
Jessie: “Isn’t being hugged in a poncho
great? It’s, like, a hug, and being wrapped in a blanket! AT THE SAME TIME!”
Rosalie: “Play it or lose it.”
[Pooka plays Flood.]
Pooka: *pause*… “Lose it.”
Dave: “I’ve been on so man y camps and
I’ve only slept in a teepee once or twice. I’d prefer the ‘I Camp’ badge if it
had a Force 5 on it, or something.”
Leader: “Any other games which you
played as children?”
[people start making lists]
Laura: “Kiss chase!”
Sam: “Vic, where do you stand on
peeing in the shower?”
Pooka: “You’ve gotta stand if you’re
gonna pee in the shower…”
Elle: “I pee in the swimming pool.”
Sam: “While you’re saving someone?”
Elle: “Yeah! Jet propulsion!”
Vince: “I really want to be in a
hot, clean swimming pool right now.”
Laura: “I don’t, after what I’ve just
heard!”
Kate: “I pee in the shower…”
Elle: “YES! GET IN!”
Dan: “I used to shit in the bath as a
kid.”
Vince: “Wow! And we didn’t even ask
you!”
Pete: “It’s worth £8,000.”
Sam: “It’s probably best if you don’t
break it whatever it costs.”
[mid-morning]
Hertha: “Well, you have to brush your
teeth twice a day.”
Ruth: “Guys, Rat is drunk. Would you
mind abusing him for a while?”
Rosalie: “Sam McGeever is a cunning
linguist.”
[Everyone laughs]
Pat: “And you’d know that, wouldn’t
you, Rosalie?” …*wink*
Rosalie: “Erm… he is gay.”
Pooka: “Put something tempting in front
of Rosalie, and she’ll follow it.”
[Hannah shows Rosalie her breasts.]
Rohan: “I just lost the game.”
Headline on TV: “LOST THE
GAME!”
Anna: “My arse just went all numb. I
can’t feel my arse!”
Jeff: “Can I?”
Anna: *pause*…
“No.”
Rosalie: “Bye-bye Charlie!”
Charlie: “Bye.”
Rosalie: *suddenly*… “Hey, nice
top.”
Charlie: “Thanks. It just makes me look so
like a 14-year-old gay boy.”
[Charlie demonstrates his T-shirt.]
Charlie: “See, this is why I should start
looking at clothes before I buy them.”
Jessie: “I’m going to get a jumper on
cause I’m cold.”
Charlie: “I’m going to get a jumper on
cause I look like a twat.”
Charlie: “Mate!”
Charlie: “What you eating mate?”
Charlie: “Mate! What’s in it, mate?”
Charlie: “Mate!”
Charlie: “Mate!”
[…later…]
[Charlie tries it.]
Charlie: “Awww, MATE!”
Charlie: “
Adam: ”We could all pitch our tents
behind the sofa!”
Charlie: “Just do that thing where we all
sit on each other’s shoulders, and when you get a big raincoat…”
Adam: “I’ve lost my mind!”
Carly: “I’ve lost my hair!”
Jessie: “I’ve lost the game!”
Kat: “
Adam: “D A V E.”
Dan: “Dino-sa-a-a-urs!” / “Lord, Lord
of the Riiiiings!”
Adam: “Everything we could think of
was on the spider diagram. It was supposed to be of the treasure hunt, but it
ended up with stuff like Sam McGeever’s A-Level results on it…”
Charlie: “Curses! You’ve made me lose my
place!”
Adam: “Ha-ha! I shall perfect my own
Super Super Machine first! And it shall only require half as many Doritos!”
Pooka: “Everyone watch the Dom Show!”
Hannah: “Now all we need is some CON-!”
Charlie: “Linux. Helping sell Aspirin
since the early 1990s.”
Charlie: “I once went into DFChat and
there were apparently three people in there…”
Pooka: “That’s only cause one of them
was DFbot, one was
Elle: “I don’t expect the government’s
views to be anything like my own… until I’m in charge of it, of course.”
Tom: “When you reach four, you have
to leave the
Pooka: “Morning, Mr. R.”
[Rohan waves, and in doing so, spills hot tea over his
hand.]
Rohan: “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”
Pooka: “Yep, that’s why I call you R.”
[
Adam: “One final announcement. I’ve
just lost the game.”
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