Denmark Youth Camp 2007

 

Herewith quotes from Youth Camp in Denmark 2007. Yes, I was too busy attempting to enjoy myself to actually record many quotes, so these are mostly from memory, or quotes I collected on the journeys there and back (breakfast in Brussels and all that!). Send me an e-mail on the double if you have a quote, yes?

 

 

Pooka: “Should I go and get it? [pause] I’ll go and get it, shall I?”

 

Ros: “I’m quite proud; I got everyone apart from Jessie on the train. That’s good.”

 

Ruth: “Fuck it. I’m going to India. Anyone want a Reading ticket?”

 

Becca: “My phone doesn’t actually like travelling.”

Laurie: “So it’s an anti-travel phone?”

Becca: […] “It doesn’t really like sound either, so if you talk on the phone, or it goes near any loud sounds, it goes into perpetual blackness…”

Anna: “Maybe you should think of getting a new model.”

 

Laurie: “I was at Alton Towers the other day, and someone spat in my face.”

 

Laurie: “I’m just looking at this here…”

Hannah: “Well, that clarifies things.”

 

Laurie: [reading from the “Guardian”]Southern Europe scorched as rain batters north.”

Hannah: “Yesssssss!”

 

Laurie: “We’ve been moving down the valley for ages.”

Becca: “That’s because you’re a loser.”

 

Laurie:  “I think you’re being a bit silly.”

Becca: “I think your face is a bit silly.”

 

Becca: “I want to say ‘your face’, but I really need to stop saying that.”

Laurie: “Your mum.”

Becca: “Your mum’s face.”

 


I.O.U.

INFINITY POUNDS


 

[Hannah strokes Becca’s hair.]

Becca: “Hannah’s bullying me!”

Hannah: “I like your hair!”

Pooka: “Hannah… Hannah, stop it, or I’ll send you to the time-out chair.”

Laurie: “What time-out chair?... Oh, there’s Jessie’s chair.”

 

Hannah: “How do you keep it un-frizzy?”

Becca: “You don’t sit next to Hannah!”

 

Ros: “Are we still under the sea?”

Pooka: “No, there hasn’t been any calypso yet.”

Ros: “So what happens if we get to Brussels and there hasn’t been any calypso yet?”

Pooka: “Then we ALL DIE!”

 

[Hannah throws a bottle at Laurie.]

Laurie: “Ow! Why’d you do that?”

Liam: “Because it was funny!”

 

Ruth: “Woolfire was amazing. Ask Amber, she’ll tell you… AMBER! HOW WAS WOOLFIRE?”

Amber: [without enthusiasm] “… was all right…”

 

[the train’s announcement bell rings]

Becca: “Would Laurie Glenn stop playing with the train doors…”

 

Laurie: “Who knows what woggle-swaps are?”

Ruth & Becca: “It’s where you swap your woggles!”

 

Amber: “It looks like he’s fallen into a clothes dying vat.”

Ros: “As you do.”

 

[Anna is by a statue of a granny, posing for a photo.]

Ros: “Don’t lean on her, you should be helping her!”

Anna: “I can’t help her; she’s got a leek in her bag!”

 

Ruth: “I woke up and you’d kicked me off and it was Germany! I was sleeping on spiky things… and Philadelphia!”

 

[indecipherable announcement ending in seven-B]

Ros: “What? That makes no sense; they made the whole announcement in German, apart from the time, which was in English! Just… what?!”

 

[upon exiting the kitchen]

Hannah: “Oh, they’ve got an oven, and a microwave!”

Rosalie: “Have they got pudding?”

 

Ruth: “We’re in a whole load of people who don’t drink, so we can just get battered, and everyone else can look at us in disgust!”

 

Ros: “I keep thinking I should do a Masters… somewhere foreign.”

 

Joe: “I don’t know how to draw Saturday!”

 


IDA

ISABELLA

GRAHN

HASS

#1


 

Pooka: “Ida, I saw your tattoo. I like it.”

Isabella: Thanks. I like it, too.”

 

Rosalie: “You were bein’ FLIRTED with!”

Pooka: “Really? I didn’t realise.”

Rosalie: “But you were FLIRTING too!”

Pooka: “Oh, I knew I was flirting.”

 

Laurie: “I’ve got a pens as well.”

Ruth: “Oh, you gee…” *drinks*

 

Isabella: “I’ve enjoyed the games… and the amount of nudity.”

 

Laurie: “I’ll be back soon; I’m just going to shake Henry out.”

 

Ruth: “Over the summer, I’ve turned into the sort of person that has a pen with them all of the time.”

Laurie: “Always needing to write down boys’ numbers?”

Ruth: “Constantly.”

 

[Amber is sitting having a cigarette and a cup of tea, looking blissed out.]

Ruth: “You look really happy.”

Amber: “Yeah! Now all I need is some sex.”

 

Anna: “Are we playing the picture drawing drawing game?”

Pooka: “Picture drawing drawing game?”

Laurie: “Peanut butter jelly time!...

 

[Ros is playing with her hair.]

Ruth: “She’s titillating herself.”

 

Ruth: “People were walking past, giggling. There was this flowery tent… emitting Harry Potter.”

 

Lucie: “We’re going to go and spend the day in Århus, with lots of alcohol and euphoria drugs!”

 

Ruth: “Pooka, your ears are wobbling.”

 

[dreadful cacophony of banging metal]

Annoying Voice of Doom: “BREAKFAST!”

 

Ruth: “Ros, what star sign are you?”

Ros: “Cancer.”

[Ruth squints at the magazine. It’s in German.]

 

Ros: “Does anyone want some Dan cake?”

 

Ros: “How many of us are there? There’s five of us, right?”

Ruth: “Yeah, Liam doesn’t count.”

Ros: “Liam’s not real?”

Ruth: “He’s just a figment of Jessie Fleming’s imagination.”

 

Ruth: “I call him ginger a lot.”

Laurie: “Why?”

Ruth: “Because he is.”

 

Dannie: “Ida was the first to get naked. It was, like, one second and all her clothes were off.”

 

Pooka: “So, where are we going?”

Ros: “Eurostar!”

 


BLACK CAT CONDOMS?!


 

Ros: “I want to be at DF Kamp now!”

Pooka: “…fine, for those you that are going to DF Kamp…”

 

Ros: “I’m going to be really sad and check my tickets, and put them somewhere safe, with my passport. Not like we’ve been through lots of countries today, or anything.”

[2 seconds later…]

Ros:Oh, that was lucky. I thought I’d lost it… but it was just in the wrong paperclip.”

(Unsurprisingly, MS Word suggested “oh that” or “oh, which” for the beginning of the sentence.)

 

Amber: “If anything goes wrong, we’ll meet by the horse dressed as a zebra drinking tea!”

 

Ruth: “I put my card in, and it was, like, ‘hello, do you want some money?’ Yes, please. ‘Tough. Please remove your card.’ Bugger.”

 

Liam: “See you on the other side.”

 

Ruth: “It’s a fun game. It’s called, ‘bored men with shitty jobs will do anything for you if you have the tits’.”

 

Ruth: “I wanted to have ice cream for breakfast, but apparently that was immature and childish.”

 

Ros: “I don’t speak Belgian. Do you speak Belgian?”

 

[Ruth goes through a scanner at Customs, and it bleeps loudly.]

Pooka: “Bleeping marvellous.”

 

Laurie: “I might have to sit next to Anna Donne – the Anna Donne – voted World’s Sexiest Female!”

 

Ruth: “We’d better get onto the Eurostar, and finish preparing the sex game.”

 

Pooka: “I need someone to sit next to me, and kick me, and say things like, ‘Pooka, if you are ordering food in Germany, don’t start speaking JAPANESE, they won’t understand you’!”

 

Ruth: *reading ‘Harry Potter’* “Oh, no! That is a bit of a shame!”

Laurie: “Shut up!”

 

Pooka: “This bridge is closed, and to cross, you must pay me a toll, answer me a riddle, or defeat me in combat.”

 

Pooka: “The ear’s an erogenous zone, apparently.”

Ruth: “Yes. I have ears.”

 

Pooka & Amber: “I’ve eaten so much, I feel so fat, and now I’m stuck in a box with water and rats! And rats and water, and water and rats!”

 

Everyone: “Breasts, vagina, cock and bum, cock and bum! / Breasts, vagina, cock and bum, cock and bum! / And nipples, and fingers, and ears, and tongue… / Breasts, vagina, cock and bum! Cock and bum.”

 


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